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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My Cousin

       I got a call from my cousin last night. She is a wonderful lady who has opened her home to her 3 grandchildren because her daughter turned out to be a loser. Her younger brother, whom I grew up with, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  They are giving him 3 to 6 months to live. I'm not sure what kind of cancer he has but it is in a big lump on his neck and I guess has traveled to his lungs.
     Dale is 6 months older than I, a fact that he never let me forget while we were growing up. We use to hang out together quite a bit when we were teenagers. I saw him at Mom's funeral and talked for a few minutes. I saw him at his mother's funeral and the time before that,  I saw him  at my brother's funeral 20 years ago. Notice a pattern here? Anyway, I feel so sad for him. I have thought of lots of things to say to him. "Keep your attitude positive" Miracles happen, just have faith". But somehow, it all feels empty. I keep thinking, what would I do and how would I feel if I knew I was going to die? When Mom was sick, I really didn't let myself think to much about what was happening. I was too close. But with Dale, I find myself having a whole new set of thoughts. I always thought I was ready to die. Don't get me wrong. Not now. What I mean to say is, I am sure of what comes after death and take comfort in that. Death is only the beginning. (I know I've heard that somewhere before.)  But now, I keep thinking, I'm not ready yet. I have lots more I want to do.
        Anyway, say a prayer for Dale. Live each day the best you can.
I am going to quit procrastinating. And I'm so very good at it. Maybe I'll start tomorrow.......

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